The Mother Tongue

Being an English major, I am quite a stickler for correct grammar, spelling and pronunciation. I know I have made spelling mistakes in this very forum, and they have mortified me, but they were usually results of bad typing in a dark room at 3 in the morning…so sue me.

I have no patience for people who incorrectly pronounce words or use words in the wrong context, but it seems that those people are the only ones crossing my path lately. My dad has home health nurses and a health aide that visit a few times a week and in an effort to quell some of the awkwardness of that time, I will invariably strike up some inane conversation with them. It never fails that one or all of them will end up with her foot in her mouth.

Also, as the Pie learns her native language, she cracks me up with some of the pronunciations she comes up with. I have never used “baby talk” with her but simply spoke to her as if she understood what I meant. By the age of 9 months, she knew the meaning of “dangerous.” At 18 months, she knew what “understand” meant and used it correctly. Now, at the age of 4, she uses words like “appropriate, investigate and completely.” However, some words do give her a little trouble. What follows is a small compendium of some of the incorrect usages and pronunciations I have heard recently. I have noted first the incorrect pronunciation, a definition and finally, an example sentence of how it was butchered…er, used.

ROT-A-TOO-LEE – a French vegetable dish. I like to fix up some ROT-A-TOO-LEE for a quick supper.

PA-NAN-O – a musical instrument. Can I play the PA-NAN-O?

NUH-VILL-UH – a flavor of ice cream. I don’t like chocolate; I want NUH-VILL-UH.

KWAY-SO – a Mexican cheese dip. I want to order some KWAY-SO.


NUKE-YOU-LER – it’s NUKE-LEE-ER, you bucket heads! Come on!!!


FY-NAN-SHOE-WULL – referring to money matters. We need to go over our FY-NAN-SHOE-WULL status.


SIM-FON-ICK – working together as one. We have such a SIM-FON-ICK relationship.


KIN-NEE-GAR-DUN – the start of a school career. I have a son going into KIN-NEE-GAR-DUN.


MISS-CHEE-VEE-US – up to no good. Look at him…he’s being MISS-CHEE-VEE-US.


TORE-TILL-YUH – a flat dough made of corn or flour. Do you want some TORE-TILL-YUH chips and dip?

SUH-POSE-UH-BLEE – speculated. She was SUH-POSE-UH-BLEE coming by today.


ECK-SET-ER-RUH – and so on. We need office supplies: pens, paper, ECK-SET-ER-UH.


ATH-UH-LEET – one who participates in sporting activities. He is the greatest ATH-UH-LEET to ever play the game.

So in summary, always make sure to pronounce your words correctly…it will be a blessing in the skies.