Bathroom Buddies

I have witnessed many things during my numerous trips to Wal-Mart, but this morning topped just about every other experience I've ever had there. It literally changed the course of a young woman's life. While I waited for The Cuteness to potty, a young woman entered the restroom and chose a stall. After a few minutes, I heard her exclaim, "Oh, no! Oh, no...oh, God, no!"  Thinking perhaps she was on her cell phone, I ignored it and continued to wait until my assistance was requested from The Cuteness. Soon, the young woman, opened the stall door

She looked at me with wet eyes and said, "Can I ask you a question?" Always ready to impart wisdom or opinion, I responded in the affirmative. "Is it hard to be 21 and have a baby?" she asked as she brandished a newly peed upon pregnancy test. What I wanted to say was, "Hell, it's hard to be 42 and have a baby!" But instead, I smiled and said, "Oh, honey...let me buy you a cup of coffee," as I steered her to the McDonald's restaurant inside the store.

Her name was Lydia and she was terrified. She was in a fairly new relationship and wasn't sure of the reaction of the baby's father. She chattered for a while as I simply nodded and smiled. She needed to process the information and I was a willing sound board...a stranger she just met in the Wal-Mart bathroom. As good a person as any, I suppose.

Eventually, she took a breath. I took this as my cue to jump in. I explained that having a baby at any age was a unique challenge, but it was one that millions of women have accepted and triumphed over. She asked questions, I shared my story and related some lessons and advice. She even wrote some things down on a napkin!

After about an hour, we hugged and parted ways, both of us having experienced the oddly happy occasion of making a friend in a Wal-Mart bathroom.

Life Lessons at 87 Feet In the Air

It was my birthday and our charming town was hosting the annual founder's day festival, complete with carnival. The Pie is a sucker for rides and funnel cakes, so we grabbed her Favorite Aunt and commenced our adventure. We walked among the teenagers and oldsters who celebrated an unencumbered night out, dodging toddlers who had ingested too much lemonade, and at some point made the capricious decision to stand in line for the Ferris Wheel. 

The Pie said she wanted to "face my fears" and ride the giant wheel. Having never ridden one myself, I was proud that she was willing to conquer whatever those fears were, but I knew she couldn't ride it alone. And I had some fears of my own to deal with. Initially Favorite Aunt was to join us, but the three of us would not fit in one car. So, I swallowed the terror that rose into my throat and took my seat next to The Pie. 

We buckled our seat belt, snapped the safety rod in place and I felt pretty good. Then

Here we are just as our adventure began

the wheel moved. The Pie emitted a soft squeaking noise and I began to feel my bowels loosen. I clutched at The Pie with my right hand while my left hand seized the safety bar with crushing intensity. The stop and go as others loaded the ride was maddening! Every movement made me nauseous and made The Pie cry even harder. I whispered, "It's okay, it's okay..." but I can't be entirely sure if my attempt to soothe was meant for my daughter or myself. The time dangling in the car, swinging back and forth at the lightest  movement, was interminable. At about the fourth stop, The Pie, through tears,  stated forcefully that she wanted off the ride immediately. 

Knowing there was no way to communicate her desire, I attempted to mollify her as if I were approaching a wild animal. My heart thumped as I calmly explained that we couldn't get off; my buttocks clenched tighter into the imitation leather seat as I encouraged her to be brave and enjoy the adventure. Favorite Aunt had taken my cell phone before we boarded to get some photos, so I couldn't even text her to have the ride operator get us off. And I TOTALLY would have! There was a bit of a stiff wind that intensified the higher we went and I could feel a panic attack coming on. Eventually, my progeny and I found ourselves stopped at the very top of the Ferris wheel and I began to look around us.  

I saw the sunset from a new perspective; I was over 80 feet in the air and could see for what seemed miles. I can't remember the last time I paid attention to a sunset. I drew The Pie's focus to the slowly setting sun and she commented about how pretty the colors were. Lights from the next town twinkled cheerily and she laughed as she joked that she could see the whole world. My muscles began to stop their spasm parade and The Pie and talked about how beautiful it was so far up in the air. Then mercifully, the wheel started its rotations and the ride began in earnest. 

My grinding grasp on The Pie's rib cage eased and she let out a little giggle. "This is not so bad," she said. "I faced my fears, Mama!"  With perhaps a little too much forced perkiness, I replied, "You sure did!! I'm so proud of you!" After a couple more rotations of the Ferris wheel, I relaxed and realized I was having fun!  I said, "Hey, Pie, can I tell you something?" She nodded her little blonde head, her golden hair bouncing on the breeze. 

"I was really scared. Really, really scared to get on this ride. But because you were so brave, you helped me be brave, too. And I faced my fears!" Her face instantly glowed with pride and she reached for my hand. "We did it TOGETHER, Mama! As long as we're together, we can do anything!" And she's right. 

Life is like a Ferris wheel. The ride is what you make it out to be. It can start out terrifying but but eventually, you wind up on top. And if you're lucky, you'll have someone you love by your side.