Triple D...Dating, Death and Dental Work

No one ever said it would be easy. I knew it wouldn’t be easy. Had no expectation otherwise. But I was hoping for a little balance - instead of going through phases where nothing exciting happens, then suddenly being hit with a shitstorm – I prefer having my shit spread out in an even layer, thank you very much. Like Nutella on warm toast…


In the past 6 weeks or so, my limits have been tested, my sanity tried, my judgment questioned and my heart broken. Not necessarily in that order, because it seemed to come all at once! I felt overwhelmed and under prepared and as much as I tried to fake it, my grasp on everything slipped away.

Alzheimer’s took my favorite uncle from us. He was a sweet and funny man, a teacher and father of 6 – some of my favorite people in the world – but his final days were agonizing for him and everyone who loved him. I worried about how my father would accept the news of his brother’s death, but it happened the same day as the Colorado movie theatre tragedy, so he occupied himself with that instead. After the funeral, dad took a turn and proved more responsibility. His care took time, effort and skills that were already running low in the tank.

The Pie started kindergarten, so the adjustment from staying up late and sleeping in had to be made. With the God-given assistance of dissolvable melatonin tablets, I was able to get her back on a sleep schedule that coordinated with real life. First couple of days were a teeny bit rough, but we both survived, so I will gladly settle for that!

I had to have some nasty dental work done and that put me out of commission for about a week. I had 7 teeth pulled. I do not currently have dental insurance and the only viable option to end the discomfort was to have broken ones extracted. Oh, the pain! And eating soft foods was no picnic. Hey, pudding, Jell-O, applesauce, yogurt, I am no longer interested in you, I need to move on; on to something that can offer me more satisfaction…like Pecan Praline ice cream. I’ve spent years attempting to justify eating ice cream three times a day and finally found a way to do it! Who knew it would take approaching redneck status to do so?

My relationship with the Prince came to an end. I do not intend to delve into reasons, decisions or choices. He is a good man – he needs someone good. This one was all my decision, my reason, my choice. Still, dealing with it is stressful and difficult. Gives me a lot to untangle in that scary place inside my head!

My dad’s other brother passed away suddenly last week, adding more sadness to our family. He loved in Montana, so we hadn’t seen him in a while, but I reconnected with him via Facebook and loved him. I have really fantastic memories of childhood that involve him and his kids, so I choose to hold on to those right now. I have gotten closer to one of his daughter’s over the past few months because we share a similar situation; he lived with her. I can only send her prayers and words of comfort, but I wish there were something else I could do.

Now, the Pie presents with a loose tooth – her first. While at first I was excited and thrilled for her, I slowly came to the realization that she’s growing up. And doing it WAY faster than I want her to. Every single day of my life, no matter how crazy she makes me, I end the day with a thankful prayer of gratitude for her. The Big Guy knew what he was doing.

So I’m holding on, still believing that it will be ok soon. And if it isn’t, there is always ice cream….

Party Hearty?

I’ve been to several children’s birthday parties in my day, and in the past five years, I’ve even thrown a couple of fairly good ones. I think certain criteria must be met for a party to be labeled “successful” yet I seldom see an attempt to come close. I have a friend who has four children ranging in age from 18 months to 12 years and she set the bar very high with regards to kids’ birthday parties. She made a teapot cake, for Pete’s sake!!



This woman has talent!!



When the Pie was born, I looked forward to years of planning and throwing parties that were fun and memorable, keeping in mind the standard set years before by my lovely friend. First Birthday was small and intimate, with close friends and family in attendance and no real theme, save decorations of her birth month flower. Second birthday brought out a little more of the party planner in me and I went with a color coordinating motif of brown and pink. It was a rainy day so we had to move the party into my (at the time) very small house but everyone had a great time. I got into the zone for the Third Birthday, with a Teddy Bear’s Picnic theme at the park where we went on a bear hunt; Fourth Birthday was a Circus in a gazebo filled with food and games. This year we had a Rodeo Round Up of little cowgirls and cowboys in our backyard. When I pick a theme, I do it up right! Don’t think any different!!

I’ve been to parties where it’s just cake and ice cream and presents…those are fine by me - less time for kids to get bored and cranky. The activity parties are pretty nifty, too…either at a bowling alley, a roller skating rink, an arcade…something that all the kids can do all at once.

Pool parties make nervous.

And let me tell you why…

It is our nature as humans to socialize and enjoy each other when we get together, especially if the only time we adults gather is for a kid’s party! Most of the time, the adults’ attention is not on the pool, where it should be, but on the other adults in attendance. I am just as guilty as the next parent, chatting away while a kid is up to some form of malfeasance, or a toddler without floaties jumps into the deep end. Thankfully, there is a levelheaded person who can come to the rescue at some point, but what about those who just plain want to have their own fun? Yeah, there’s one in every crowd. Most recently, there were three.

At a Luau Pool party for a girl turning seven, I was stunned by the behavior of three men. With little regard to their own child’s safety, they wrestled and dunked each other, splashed little ones in the area, and challenged each other to crazy stunts. I spent the majority of the time watching the pool because most of the other adults were inside the pool house. My kid nearly drowned on two previous occasions; I don’t need another close call. I’m all for having a good time, but horseplay can quickly turn dangerous. Notice in the picture below how close children are to these oblivious men.

Adults should be allowed to have fun at childrens' birthday parties...just not at the expense of their children.