I am one of those annoying “tell-it-like-it-is” kind of
people. I typically try to be as
diplomatic as possible if it’s a sensitive situation, but occasionally, I just
blurt out what comes to my mind. It’s served me well for many years. In some
instances, it has caused some bad blood or hurt feelings. I dealt with those
consequences as they came, but recently I noticed that when other people tell
ME like it is, I don’t much care for it. Yeah, I see the irony, there.
Facebook is not a place to be if you are feeling the least
bit vulnerable. The disconnect of an interpersonal relationship allows people
to say (in this case, type) whatever they feel, regardless of how it might
affect another person…or how they might take the comment. In recent weeks, I've been called a “bitch” for one of my comments, had my parenting called into
question, and insulted a friend of 30 years with what I thought would be a
funny comment about a picture she posted.
When the whole issue of Internet bullying first surfaced, I thought that
it was just another way to limit free speech, but when I find myself on the
other side of the line, I realize it can be hurtful when people say things
about you that might be either untrue or quite personal.
I offended my friend when I posted the comment: “Gotta love
Photoshop!” to a picture she posted of she and her stepdaughters, husband and
grandson. The shot had obviously been altered and those who know her best
should have been immediately shocked by the difference in her appearance, as
well as that of one of her stepdaughters.
I’m not talking about lines or wrinkles…I’m talking about pounds…the
addition of some and the removal of some. For making the aforementioned
comment, I was called a “bitch” by a total stranger who felt the need to take
up for my “friend” because she thought my comment was uncalled for. Ugly words ensued via Facebook and text
messaging and finally ended with my friend instructing me to “not contact (her)
again.”
I have had family members chastise my sense of humor to me
in the Facebook forum. After posting a joke about my dad, the backlash began to
fly. Part of the problem I see with the site is that people you barely know (or
don’t necessarily want in your business) are free to comment on your life and
how you live it.
People question my decisions regarding The Pie and the
things I teach her. So which is it? Do I spoil her or am I too strict? Is she
stunted in her development because I let her watch Spongebob Squarepants? Or is she advanced because she uses words
typically found on a third grade reading level?
Why are we such a judgmental society?
Why is it only “my way or the highway?”
Listen, I am just as guilty when I see someone that doesn't fit into my tunnel-vision idea of what is normal. When I encounter someone who
has a different life experience than mine, it is sometimes jarring, sometimes
enlightening, sometimes inspirational, and sometimes just plain scary. I have
corrected The Pie for making assumptions about people she doesn't know, but I
participate in the same type of behavior. Why? What is my motivation? I know
that I model that behavior to her, but I can’t figure out how to change that
process. (I will bring that up at the next counseling session.)
I consider myself tolerant, accepting and even supportive of
alternative lifestyles, artists, and quirky folks. Some of my good friends fit
into those categories! I think I’m an enigma when it comes to certain human
rights, as well as responsibilities. I am liberal, but somewhat conservative,
also. It depends on the situation.
