Wednesday, February 6, 2013

That's What I Said...


I am one of those annoying “tell-it-like-it-is” kind of people.  I typically try to be as diplomatic as possible if it’s a sensitive situation, but occasionally, I just blurt out what comes to my mind. It’s served me well for many years. In some instances, it has caused some bad blood or hurt feelings. I dealt with those consequences as they came, but recently I noticed that when other people tell ME like it is, I don’t much care for it. Yeah, I see the irony, there.

Facebook is not a place to be if you are feeling the least bit vulnerable. The disconnect of an interpersonal relationship allows people to say (in this case, type) whatever they feel, regardless of how it might affect another person…or how they might take the comment. In recent weeks, I've been called a “bitch” for one of my comments, had my parenting called into question, and insulted a friend of 30 years with what I thought would be a funny comment about a picture she posted.  When the whole issue of Internet bullying first surfaced, I thought that it was just another way to limit free speech, but when I find myself on the other side of the line, I realize it can be hurtful when people say things about you that might be either untrue or quite personal. 

I offended my friend when I posted the comment: “Gotta love Photoshop!” to a picture she posted of she and her stepdaughters, husband and grandson. The shot had obviously been altered and those who know her best should have been immediately shocked by the difference in her appearance, as well as that of one of her stepdaughters.  I’m not talking about lines or wrinkles…I’m talking about pounds…the addition of some and the removal of some. For making the aforementioned comment, I was called a “bitch” by a total stranger who felt the need to take up for my “friend” because she thought my comment was uncalled for.  Ugly words ensued via Facebook and text messaging and finally ended with my friend instructing me to “not contact (her) again.” 

I have had family members chastise my sense of humor to me in the Facebook forum. After posting a joke about my dad, the backlash began to fly. Part of the problem I see with the site is that people you barely know (or don’t necessarily want in your business) are free to comment on your life and how you live it.

People question my decisions regarding The Pie and the things I teach her. So which is it? Do I spoil her or am I too strict? Is she stunted in her development because I let her watch Spongebob Squarepants?  Or is she advanced because she uses words typically found on a third grade reading level?


Why are we such a judgmental society?
Why is it only “my way or the highway?”


Listen, I am just as guilty when I see someone that doesn't fit into my tunnel-vision idea of what is normal. When I encounter someone who has a different life experience than mine, it is sometimes jarring, sometimes enlightening, sometimes inspirational, and sometimes just plain scary. I have corrected The Pie for making assumptions about people she doesn't know, but I participate in the same type of behavior. Why? What is my motivation? I know that I model that behavior to her, but I can’t figure out how to change that process. (I will bring that up at the next counseling session.)

I consider myself tolerant, accepting and even supportive of alternative lifestyles, artists, and quirky folks. Some of my good friends fit into those categories! I think I’m an enigma when it comes to certain human rights, as well as responsibilities. I am liberal, but somewhat conservative, also. It depends on the situation.

What I really wonder is: why can’t we all just get a long?

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