Welfare State

Without being too political, I want to state that I believe it's important to help those less fortunate than ourselves. It's behooves us, as a human race, to provide assistance to those who are struggling. I feel that way because I was one of those people.

From the moment she was born, The Pie has been on state medical insurance. Sure, it's free medical and dental care, but it is limited and practically everything must be approved before treatment. It's the best I could do for her at the time and I was thankful to have it. When I could no longer nurse her, WIC was a life saver. The organization provided formula for her and healthy foods for me.

Seven years ago, I found myself unemployed and the sole provider for a two year-daughter. Support from the sperm donor was nowhere near an option, so in addition to applying for unemployment benefits, I also applied for food stamps - what they now call Nutrition Assistance. I was aware of the negative connotation associated with using government assistance, but I had lost almost everything - including my pride - and I needed help. Friends and family helped out as they could by paying a bill here and there, which was so greatly appreciated, and I visited food pantries in the community, but we needed more.

When I moved back home to care for my ailing father, I  added Medicaid to my list of government assistance. Being unable to work meant not having insurance, but I had medical issues that precluded me from just going without. Again, it was free medical insurance, but there were always strings attached. Society, whether intentional or not, makes us feel like we are "less than" if we take advantage of those "welfare" benefits. It's embarrassing and frustrating. But poverty is like that.

I witnessed someone take advantage of the system for years. With two young children, she received free medical insurance, food stamps, housing money and other assistance - all while not working. One career or technical school after another - without completion - kept her in the cycle. But I noticed that it was too easy. There was no motivation for her to change the situation. She was trapped into making welfare a lifestyle.

Almost two years ago, when Dad passed away, I knew some changes were needed. I created a "step-down" program of sorts to get off of public assistance and back to being a productive member of society. I went back to work full-time, got medical insurance and was able to reduce the amount of nutrition assistance I received. For 18 months, I struggled to make ends meet, sometimes juggling bills from one due date to another, all the time worrying about putting gas in the car or clothes on The Pie. I very nearly lost our home. But it was the kindness and generosity of friends near and far that kept me on track. Their support, their encouragement, their tough love and guidance were what helped me get through.

Now, I'm back on track. In one week, The Pie and I will officially be free of ALL government assistance. My new job provides excellent family insurance for us, pays very well (more than I have ever made) - enough that we no longer qualify as living at the poverty level. No more free school lunch, no more food stamps, no more Medicaid.  To me, this is an accomplishment. It took hard work to get to this point. And I'm proud of the fact that I am able to tell my story. Some people never find the wherewithal to walk away from welfare. Government restrictions for the assistance create impenetrable walls that simply serve to trap people in its clutches, not allowing an opportunity to do better.

I don't have any answers about how to make it better - I leave that to the politicians. What I do know, however, is that one person cannot do it alone. It takes a strong support system, providing motivation and praise, to get across that line. That damned poverty line.

It's Good to Be Back

For months, I toiled in misery at a job I despised for the sole reason of making money to pay bills. I left a position that was somewhat flexible and allowed me a little bit of independence and went directly to a job that kept track of every single minute of my day. EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE.

Circumstances were such that I wanted a change and thought the call center job sounded much less demanding and certainly would allow me to be home more for The Pie.  It did, but it was also draining my intellect at a rapid rate. I knew on the second day of training that I needed to get out and I set in motion a plan to do just that. Thankfully, the plan finally came to fruition.

Almost a month ago, I left that horrible job and started working at a job I love. I now have a position with a local non-profit organization that works with abused children. Instead of making sales in a call center environment, I'm making a difference in my community. It is important to me to work in a field that is respected and that is fulfilling to me as a human being. I don't want to be a faceless number to my employer, I want to be a contributing member of a team working toward a common goal.  I'm thrilled to have found my niche.

The Pie is happy, too. She has said numerous times that she is happy I got "the great job." She could tell from my episodes that I dreaded going to work every day, that I hated sitting on the phones for 8 hours, that I did nothing meaningful. She said just yesterday that she was glad we could laugh together again. That made me get teary because I had to wonder how long it had been since we had actually laughed together.

Here's another thing: my salary increased by just over 1/3 of what I have been making. That translates to a more stable financial situation for the two of us. Immediate concerns are paying what is most behind, but as time goes by, we will be able to save and plan for The Pie's future instead of just wonder how we can get food on the table for a couple of days.

Most importantly, The Pie and I are now completely off any state assistance and are self-sufficient. Since her birth, The Pie has been on state Medicaid and now I can afford to provide insurance for her through my employer. She no longer qualifies for the free lunch program due to my salary and though we have been slowly downsizing the amount of food stamps we received, we are no longer are eligible for that assistance. I am a believer in the "welfare system" and a hand up to help those in trouble bridge the gap. I've witnessed many people turn it into a lifestyle and be proud of it, but not I. I am excited to announce that those days are behind me.

It was worth the wait. What's important to note is that I did what I HAD to do until I could do what I WANTED to do. I worked in a crappy job, I tolerated crappy treatment, degrading comments, strict time allotments and host of other issues and worked in the mean time to get where I wanted to be.

TOTALLY worth it.