I once heard a tale about a creature “out there” that is nice, thoughtful, funny and kind. This being allegedly appreciates women for who they are, not what their measurements are or if they give it up on the first date. Experts spend countless hours studying the courting and mating habits of these subjects and report that, while they are quite rare, they actually do exist. And I found one!
I wasn’t sure what to do with it at first…it was entirely foreign to me. My initial consideration was to run in the opposite direction, fearing that it was a hallucination or a harbinger of an impending mental breakdown. I remember being told all my life that these oddities were just waiting for me, but I supposed I always just missed them and ended up with a sub par specimen. My experiments with these creatures invariably failed spectacularly. Each one concluded with results of infidelity, abuse, low motivation, dishonesty, inconvenience, or general malfeasance.
The aforementioned subject in my care exhibits traits of humor, intelligence, kindness, compassion and attraction; those rarely combined in nature. Under further examination, the specimen is pleasing to the eye, generous, and elicits laughter and general feelings of warm fuzziness. When in the company of this elusive creature, the examiner feels, desired, enjoyed, appreciated and very well liked.
I am of the opinion that I shall retain full exclusive rights to this rare being for evaluation, observation and study. With careful consideration and ample exposure, the theorem that a Good Man exists for me will be proven!
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