What Lies Ahead?

My core was rocked this week when Brubber nearly spilled the beans about Santa Claus not being real. On our way to school, our conversation turned to what we wanted for Christmas. The Pie boldly stated that she was getting me an iPad and had a plan: she would ask Santa and when he brought it for her, she would simply hand it over to me. Then Brubber (who is 8, remember) fell loose from himself and said, “You know, Santa Claus is not…” I interrupted his bubble bursting agenda with a strained noise that sounded eerily like a moose stuck in a manhole. He knows, and I know, that Santa isn’t real; I’m just not quite ready to let The Pie know. Then, this brilliant little kid asked me a question to which I had no definitive answer: “Why are you lying to her? She’ll never believe you about anything again!”

Damn. He had a point. If I have stressed the importance of truthfulness while raising The Pie, then why am I lying to her about a fat man in a red suit that decides if she’s been good enough to get presents? Am I perpetuating this myth, while based in fact, which was created as a marketing ploy? Am I leading her to believe it’s okay to lie as long as the end justifies the means? I admit it…I introduced the idea of Santa Claus to her and every year I explain that Santa will choose 3 items from her list and will drop them at our house on Christmas Eve. I bake cookies and set out milk. I even let her put out carrots for the reindeer! I am all in on this thing, people!

But now I can’t help but wonder if I am doing her a disservice by keeping up the ruse. How will she feel when she finally finds out that Santa Claus is not a real person? Will she feel betrayed? Deceived? Duped? I think they are all valid responses. I don’t remember actually when I found out, so I can’t remember how I reacted. What I do know is that I didn’t feel betrayed by my parents until much later; their abusive relationship took care of that for me. But I digress...

The point I’m trying to make is that I enjoy the wonder and magical part of Christmas that includes flying reindeer, long-eared Christmas donkeys and misfit toys. I look forward every year to Frosty, the Heat Miser and even the Grinch. Especially the Grinch. For what better way for The Pie to learn about the spirit of Christmas than from a grumpy dude whose heart grows three sizes? I only want The Pie to feel as magical and wondrous as I did when I was a kid. Is that so wrong?

I looked into this issue and found that hundreds of studies have been conducted and thousands of articles written about this very issue. The majority of reports I read come down solidly in the “Don’t Lie About Santa” category. As I perused them, I started to feel like a bad parent! One essay by Alison Gropnik, professor of psychology at the University of California Berkeley, was published in a discussion in The New York Times and made me feel a little better:

"When children pretend, they are exercising the evolutionarily crucial human ability to envision alternative ways the world could be. In adults that ability is at the core of our very real capacities for invention and innovation."

Sure, Santa isn't a necessary part of Christmas, and it's certainly possible to teach children about the spirit of hope and generosity without him. But a belief in Santa Claus allows children to use their imaginations to envision a world where anything is possible (and the laws of physics need not even apply). Imagination is important, as is the ability to believe in things we can't always see.

Fantasy is a rich and important part of childhood. It is a time to believe and wonder, for one time in your life, that all things are possible. Adulthood and brutal truth can wait. And so can I.