Life of Pie

I didn't want her to be born on April 19. It was the same day of the Waco, TX tragedy and the bombing of the Murrah Building in Oklahoma City.  I didn't want such a celebratory event to be shadowed by such atrocities. This week has been one of terrible tragedy, as well, but ended with a cautious sigh of relief.

It was six years ago today that I lay in a hospital bed waiting to give birth to a little girl I wasn't sure I was ready for. When my water broke at straight up noon, I asked, apropos of nothing, “What color is it?” I think it was the drugs…

My baby turns six today and will soon be “graduating” from kindergarten and moving on to the real nuts and bolts of elementary school. She is succeeding in the Accelerated Reader program and is poised on the brink of being a precocious little girl, not just a precocious preschooler. Her vocabulary is HUGE, her wit is quick and her heart is pure.

As she lay in her crib at the age of 8 days, I could not imagine her any older than she was right then. Every day I look at her, I can’t see past the moment I am in, gazing into her dark blue eyes, framed by her spun gold hair; can’t fathom her being a 6^th grader, entering high school or her leaving for college.  

Every year, I plan an outrageous celebration in honor of her birthday. Let’s face it, the girl is here against incredible odds. She was destined to grace this earth, so what not celebrate in style? This year, we chose a medieval princess and knight theme. Planning has been in full swing since January and I am ready to throw a royal bash the likes of which no one (in the neighborhood, at least) has seen! I have built a castle out of toilet paper and paper towel rolls, baked cupcakes and cookies, arranged a feast fit for royalty, purchased games and favors and costumes. Pictures of this grand event will come later, so check back in a few days. 

Today, we celebrate the life of The Pie. 

Bathroom Business

Tonight, I experienced a potential tragedy; one that most likely would have broken the hearts of my friends and family and then would be exploited in the local media for a week or two. It’s been over three hours since it happened and I am still shaking. This forum is the best way for me to process it.

For a while, The Pie has taken baths by herself, only needing my help when it comes to shampooing. She likes to loll around in the warm water, wash herself, then call me in. This evening I thought she had been in the tub long enough – a few minutes past her bedtime, actually – so I went to check her progress. I said her name three times and she did not respond.

I gently shook her and she turned to me, startled. She had fallen asleep in the tub. Her angelic face mere inches from the water line that could, at any time, have slipped beneath the surface and stolen her breath. In the seconds it took me to get her awake and out of the tub, my mind flashed myriad scenarios of an undesired outcome. My heart banged in my chest so loudly I thought even my mostly deaf father could hear it. I heard blood rushing in my ears, beginning to prepare my brain for what I might find.  

Of course, The Pie is fine. Today was her tumbling class and it always wears her out. She had also taken an early dose of her nighttime Melatonin dissolvable pill, and the warm water must have relaxed her to the point of succumbing to her fatigue.

As I dried her off with her favorite monkey towel, I looked into her sapphire eyes and thought about how close I had come to losing her.  A sob choked in my throat and my heart dropped. I cannot imagine not having that child in my life. 

Six years ago this week, I was moving into a new place, enormously pregnant, and wondering how I could possibly have a kid. My life wasn’t set up to accommodate a baby or anything that even smelled remotely of maternal instincts.  How was I going to make room in my life for this little needy person?

What happened was that little needy person not only found room in my life, she became my life. Suffice it to say that if I lost her, I would lose my life…figuratively and literally. Her sweet hugs and kisses feed my soul, her delighted giggles pump through my heart, her curious questions exercise my brain to keep it in shape. She keeps me alive.

So, for her to continue in her current valuable position, I believe showers will now be in order. And we do have a hose in the back yard…