So, which is it? Do we encourage our daughters to be princesses or not? The so-called experts on child development and psychology have conflicting opinions and are sending mixed messages to parents of little girls. There are valid points to each side of the argument, but I'm trying to determine which point weighs more heavily with me.
On the one hand, we have called our daughters "princess" since time immemorial. A daughter is such a sweet little creature that we take pains to shelter her from harm or negativity. We swaddle them in pink the instant they leave the womb and painstakingly buy them dolls, play kitchen equipment and tiny vacuums in order to prepare them for their roles as homemakers. We shower them with whatever they want at the sight of the first tear, pouty lip or batted lash. And why not? They are our precious baby girls - our princesses!
Disney would have us believe that being a princess is the ultimate goal for every little girl. I question this singular path of thought. Every Disney princess I have seen (and that's a lot!) presents in appearance as perfect. They are all stunningly beautiful with long flowing locks, huge eyes, lovely and radiant skin, and many of them have the singing voice of an angel. They are immediately adored by all those they meet and usually have gentlemen falling over themselves to make the her their bride. That ideal is unattainable. Is that what we should be training our girls for? To become a wife...and then what? We never hear about what happens "happily ever after."
Click here to see a very interesting take on modern women and how they are princess-ified.
Admittedly, some Disney princesses do possess characteristics and values that I would like my daughter to emulate: kindness (Snow White), compassion (Ariel), intelligence (Belle), humility (Cinderella), strength (Mulan), courage (Merida), determination (Tiana), and adventurousness (Jasmine). But I look at it as more my responsibility to model those values every day at home, rather than cross my fingers and hope she picks it up by watching the movies. The Pie often inquires, "Is this real?" when we watch a movie together. I explain that they are made up stories, but they teach us a lesson about life. I try to let her figure out that lesson, instead of brow beating her with it.
What I want my daughter to grow up knowing is that she - as herself - is good enough. She is perfect in my eyes and she makes me proud to be her mother. I need her to understand that she doesn't need a tiara to be special. She already is.
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