Off to Work I Go

I’d been thinking about going back to work full-time for several weeks. Dad was in the nursing home and the majority of his monthly income needed to go toward paying for that outrageous bill. I had a job all lined up to start December 1, but after Dad passed away I didn't feel up to dealing with people in any situation the demanded I not cry copiously for no apparent reason. There was money in the bank to last me and The Pie a little while, so I forfeited that opportunity.

Right after Christmas, I stepped up my job search – sending out resumes to just about any industry that offered something close to what I wanted to do! I knew I needed income and I knew I would need it soon. I approached my search aggressively and it paid off.

In the first week of January, I had nine (9) interviews! It felt really validating that I still was considered valuable in the workplace. My skills, admittedly, have gotten a little rusty, but I can still keep up. At first, I wondered if my absence from being a member of the gainfully employed club worked as an obstacle to even being considered. However, as the calls kept coming in, I became more and more confident that I would find … something. Most of the interviews went very well, a couple were definitely not what I was looking for, so I made sure they ended quickly. As I played the waiting game, jumping every time the phone rang, I tried to decide which position I really wanted.  And then it happened.

On a Monday afternoon, I had two job offers within a few minutes of each other. I couldn't believe it! One company manufactures video gaming machines and one of the benefits is getting free lunch every day. The other company is an internationally known and respected aviation, flight and technology college and it’s closer to my home. I accepted the position as a Financial Aid Advisor with the flight school.

I've been on the job for three weeks and I really know I made the right choice. I am working in education again, helping students fund their education that will improve the rest of their lives. It is very rewarding to me to think that I can help a young man or woman follow their dreams. My co-workers are fun and knowledgeable and I feel like I fit in.

The Pie has been having some adjustment issues, though. She’s not used to me being unavailable to her. For most of her life, I have always been there for her – dropping her off at school, attending class parties, volunteering, and picking her up in the afternoons. She misses me and clings to me when we are at home. The best part of that scenario is that she hardly ever wants friends to come over!

I’m looking forward to a long career in my new position and will undoubtedly have many “interesting stories” to share. Stay tuned!

Is It Teacher Bullying?

I’m about to gain a reputation at my daughter’s school as being a difficult mom, a troublemaker, a bitch. It’s a yoke I’m happy to wear because I am standing up for my kid when she can’t. She refuses to explain herself to her teacher on this issue because she is being made to feel like she is different from her classmates. And I am quite pissed off about it.

It all began when the weather started getting colder. The Pie runs a little hot…well, let’s face it, she’s a walking heat source and probably the cause of global warming! Anyway, her teacher told her several times that she HAD to wear a coat to school. I finally caved and forced The Pie to wear a coat, just to stop the complaints. Last week, the teacher

 called me and asked if I knew what The Pie wore to school. I was perplexed. Of course, I knew…I dropped her off at school! She wore a shirt and a skirt. Looked pretty cute, too! The teacher goes on to tell me that she would like my daughter to always wear pants and tennis shoes because of the cold weather. I feigned interest, but eventually dismissed it.

 

Today, The Pie tells me that a lady in the office called her in to ask her once again if I knew what she was wearing and if I saw her before school. What the hell? She proceeded to tell my child that she MUST wear long pants and closed shoes at least until the end of February. I lost my damn mind when The Pie told me about what happened. She said she felt embarrassed and like she was in trouble. I intend to put a stop to it.

I sat down and wrote a sternly worded email to her principal about the issue. I’m sure she is completely unaware that adults are bullying her students. And that’s what I think it is…I may be overreacting, but it’s how she feels she’s being treated and I will not diminish her feelings. Here’s the letter, somewhat modified, I wrote:

My daughter, The Pie, is in Mrs. Hess' second grade class and I am angry. The Pie told me about something that happened today and I am deeply upset.  She explained that Annie in the office pulled her aside and asked her if she dressed herself and if I saw her before she left for school. The Pie also said that Annie told her that she MUST wear long pants and closed shoes to school from now on.

This is an issue I tried to ignore, but during a recent phone call, I discussed it with Mrs. Hess and explained that The Pie's wardrobe is something I leave up to her. It's simply not worth fighting about. Mrs. Hess said that her concern is that The Pie will get cold during an outside recess and possibly get sick.  My daughter has a normal body temperature that runs a little high, so she is always warm to the touch and never, ever gets cold. I gave in to Mrs. Hess' badgering about my child wearing a coat to school, so now she takes one because her teacher told her to. 

The Pie's grandfather, with whom we lived the majority of her life, passed away in November and rather than try to support my daughter through a very difficult emotional time, these women are chastising her for what she wears! My daughter is scared that she has done something wrong. Her grades have fallen, but the focus is on her clothes? That is just wrong. Her learning environment is obviously compromised as a result of this form of harassment. 

I do not appreciate the interference of these ladies regarding something so trivial as my daughter's wardrobe. She is always appropriately covered and does not violate any of the dress code rules in the student handbook. If you can show me in the handbook where it requires girls to wear long pants during cold weather, I wish you would. Until such time, I will not force my daughter to wear clothes in which she feels uncomfortable merely to mitigate the ridiculous gossip of a couple of young women. 

My child is a unique, creative and intelligent girl and I refuse to allow her spirit to be broken by people who have no knowledge or real concern for her welfare. I make no excuses for her and I am offended by the fact that I am being forced to defend her clothing. Rest assured, I will no longer tolerate the shaming she has had to endure about this issue. 

Please call me at your earliest convenience to discuss this situation or to schedule an appointment to meet. 

I’d like to know what all you parents, educators and school administrators out there think. Is there a real basis for requiring The Pie to change her wardrobe? Are the adults at her school bullying her? Or am I just a Mama Bear??  Honest feedback is welcome.