The Pie turned 3 this week. I’m not sure how it’s possible because it was only a couple of days ago that she left my body and made my world all sparkly! At least that’s how it seems to me. The first three years of her life have passed in hyperspeed – and that’s probably due more to her high-speed little self than anything else – and I know I will soon wake up to discover a that a prepubescent beastie lives in my house.
Following a conversation with a good friend, I started thinking about all the transformations that have taken place in my life in the past three years. For the most part, I think the differences between then and now are significantly positive, but there are might be a couple that I could have lived my whole life without experiencing. But if it meant not having my daughter, then I would do them all a hundred times over.
What follows is a list of those changes.
1. I have touched things I never imagined touching – dead mice, spiders, poop
2. I fear different things now. It used to be trivial, mindless worry, but now I am consumed with her safety, her health, her well-being.
3. My heart breaks so much more easily than before.
4. I feel her pain more than my own.
5. There is a person on the planet who becomes giddily excited when I enter a room.
6. I don’t sleep nearly as much or as soundly.
7. I have discovered that there is no such thing as a leisurely shower.
8. I watch cartoons.
9. I never have a clean house or finished laundry.
10. I actually become excited about someone else’s bodily functions (tooting, pooping, etc.)
11. I actually read labels now.
12. I don’t watch the news anymore. As a mother, it’s too depressing and frightening.
13. I discovered I am smarter than I thought I was. Coming up with explanations for all the “whys” makes me really work my brain!
14. My sense of wonder that I had as a child has returned.
15. My heart now walks around (runs around) outside my body.
16. I don’t think about myself – I think of her – constantly.
17. Although I own a queen-sized bed, I usually only use about 18 inches of it.
18. I stopped coloring my hair. Clairol stock probably plummeted!
19. I don’t buy the expensive make-up anymore – because if I can wear the cheap stuff, so can she!
20. The only thing I read these days is the directions for putting a toy together.
21. I attend tea parties – with TinkerBell and Raggedy Ann as guests.
22. I have developed an intense dislike for Play-Doh. Don’t get me started…
23. Balloons are not nearly as fun for me as they used to be (see previous blog entry on balloon hating)
24. I no longer have any interest – or time, or energy – in dating
25. I have a new name….just call me Mama.
Vivi has enriched the lives of all of us lucky enough to know and love her. She is the embodiment of joy!
ReplyDeleteShe is so wonderful! You are blessed! I am thrilled to be a part of your lives to see the wonder that is Vivi and you being a great Mama to her!! =) Thank you.
ReplyDeleteLoved this, mamma!
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