Alone Again? No Way, Jose!

Greta Garbo had the right idea when she uttered the famous lines, “I vant to be alone…” There comes a time in all our lives when the very idea of another person intruding into our personal space, whether in person or by phone, is simply unbearable. This is one of those times for me.



Inside of two weeks, I have had my dad in the hospital with pneumonia and excessive fluid gain twice. I am exhausted ! He’s an old man, so when he feels poorly, he acts poorly: grumpy, inconsiderate, bossy, frustrated. It’s a lot to handle when trying balance the needs of a preschooler at the same time. The Pie’s idea of a good time is most certainly not hanging out in a hospital emergency room and waiting for something to happen. She doesn’t understand what’s happening, so I can give her a pass, but my dad should know better.


Closed doors are fairly handy sometimes, but they also separate as well as protect. No one can see behind the closed doors of our home to witness what happens on a regular basis, so here’s a glimpse:


Dad sits in his recliner the majority of the day, barking orders trying to be heard over the blaring television. Then he routinely cusses the dog for reasons I have yet to figure out. He shuffles into the kitchen a few times a day and merely stands there, gaping at the room, demonstrating no knowledge of where he is or what he wants. I have to lead him back to the dinner table and play 20 questions to determine what he needs. He slings swear random swear words at inanimate objects – the fridge, the barstools, the drawers or chairs. In his case, I need to escape the noise that surrounds him.


The Pie is under the impression that she must be touching me at every waking moment. She will not tolerate us being in different rooms in the house, so I have not voided in private in nearly 6 months! Upon occasion, she will allow me to take a shower uninterrupted, but those times are few. When I am in the shower, I sometimes wash a few extra times just to take up some time. The Pie follows me from room to room, touching my leg, my shirt, my arm, my hair, my face…anything she can reach. I feel like an alien being probed on the mother ship!


Want I want more than just about anything in the world is a few hours with no one to do nothing. I want quiet…I want solitude…I want to be alone.