Looking for Jesus

Last night, I was explaining an Easter project to my father and mentioned that an object represented Jesus. He said, "Who?" I got a little giggle, but later realized that there probably needs to be a bit more spirituality in our house. For the past several months, my personal quest has been to find a permanent church home for The Pie and me. 

I've researched and visited a number of different churches in our town, but still haven't found one that appeals to me. The Pie staked her claim on a church that has an incredible children's area featuring a computer room, a craft barn and a movie theatre. She declared it "her" church. My experience didn't make me feel as certain. I enjoyed the sermon and the preacher, but was thoroughly nonplussed by everything else. I was not welcomed as a visitor. No one spoke to me or offered assistance. 

My parents raised me in a Southern Baptist church. The preacher I grew up with was a brilliant speaker, a true teacher of the Bible and a good man. An unfortunate scandal rocked his ministry to the core, and our family joined the mass exodus that followed. We decided to work with a number of other families and chartered a new Baptist church in town. My mother passed away before the building could be finished, but I remained loyal, despite the painful memories attending the church evoked. I eventually found my calling in the nursery and for years was the co-director with a beautiful soul named Miss Melba. When it came to my attention that the associate pastor had physically threatened the wife of a deacon during a meeting, I turned in my keys to the church and left. It broke my heart and I have never felt part of a church family since. 

When I became a parent, it was important to me that The Pie knew God in some way. We didn't regularly attend church, but we talked about Heaven and God. She knows her grandma lives in Heaven with God and that someday she will meet her. I've shared Bible stories with her and she is inquisitive about many related topics. We've become one of those families that only attends church on Christmas and Easter ... and I hate that. 

My problem is this: I don't care for the current trend of "consumer-driven" churches. Every one I visit features rock bands and Power Point presentations. No hymns are sung, only repetitive choruses of songs whose lyrics are shown in the aforementioned Power Points. In the church I most recently visited, I was the only person carrying a Bible. It was quite disconcerting. Even the services that are touted as "traditional" have allowed the 21st century to infiltrate them. To me, worship is quiet, dignified and a learning experience, not a pep rally or rock concert. I get the feeling in many situations that churches have allowed themselves to become businesses rather than temples. The churches in my town are not small; they build giant monoliths of buildings with amusement park quality play areas and coffee bars and appeal to the the young upwardly mobile families with sizable bank accounts and vehicles. Kind of a "hipster Christian." I don't fit in there. 

Interesting side note: the church I helped to charter over 20 years ago has no recognizable community service assistance program in place. Every other church in town offers help with food, utility payment, gift baskets and other ministries to help those less fortunate. That one has no real community presence. 

I'm looking for a place to fit in; a place where my daughter can grow up with a solid, traditional foundation of God's word. A place where I can find instruction, comfort and fellowship. It's difficult for me to believe that in a town with 37 churches and no bars I can't find what I seek.